


Devil Days

by thatsbuckedup



Series: Wilted Sunflower [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Lovesick Miya Atsumu, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:54:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsbuckedup/pseuds/thatsbuckedup
Summary: 'It’s an astral, potential out of body experience when Atsumu realises that he’s definitely in love with Hinata. He knows he has ‘feelings’ for him and is attracted to him but his head is clearer than before. Atsumu needs to tell him now.'
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Series: Wilted Sunflower [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087616
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Devil Days

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the wait! I've been up to my neck with responsibilities and what not, nonetheless, hope you enjoy! I wasn't exactly happy with this chapter but it's essential with where this story is heading!

Atsumu isn’t really much of a pessimist, however, he can’t think of a worse day than the one he has ahead of him. 

He’s awake before the sun gets a chance to peek through the curtains in his room. Tuesday mornings mean unforgiving fitness sessions, almost to the extent where they have trouble standing. It’s only once a week now that the team is in full swing of the season and is only becoming tolerable rather than easy.

However, it wasn’t just the fitness session that Atsumu was dreading. 

_It’s also his birthday, and Atsumu isn’t particularly fond of his birthday._

He reaches out for his phone on the bedside table to turn off his alarm and also waking up to a text from his Okaasan which he wilfully ignores. Instead, he goes straight to the message below from Osamu, sent twenty minutes ago.

Wondering what he’s doing up so early, he remembers that Osamu has to open up the shop and pretty much get stuck straight into prep work before his hours start. Atsumu's brain is just a bit foggy in the morning. 

**_From Samu:_ ** _Happy birthday you idiot, I love you. I finish at 12pm today so come over to mine for lunch as usual._

Atsumu smirks, replying.

 **_To Samu:_ ** _Yeah happy birthday to you too I guess and yeah I’ll be there. Love you._

As Atsumu sends his response, his phone drops onto his chest, squashed along with his hands under the sudden weight of Hinata. His entire body had just flopped comfortably on top of Atsumu. 

_“Happy birthday Atsumu-san!”_

His face scrunches when Hinata showers him with celebratory kisses all over him; his cheeks, forehead, hair, neck. He's so frozen and stunned when Hinata pauses to ask him a question that his Atsumu’s brain begins to malfunction. _What the hell just happened?_

“What are your plans for today?” Hinata folds his arms over Atsumu’s chest to rest his chin down. Atsumu’s still not really registering this. How can Hinata be so calm about what just happened?

“T-Thanks Shoyo-kun, I...I’m meetin’ up with ‘Samu at twelve for lunch but’ thas' it,” Atsumu falters, trying to pull a sentence _and_ himself together at the fact that Hinata just put his lips on him. 

“Alright,” Hinata says. “Keep tonight free - nothing after six o’clock.”

 _Six o’clock...still comprehending things,_ “alright.”

“Okay good,” Hinata beams before he hops up off him. “Let’s get ready for training!”

More awake than when his eyes first opened, Atsumu’s face tingles where Hinata kissed him. He even finds his hand delicately tracing over his cheek, scared that the sensation will disappear. But Atsumu needs to gather himself after staring into space for too long otherwise he’ll be stuck in bed forever.

He gets dressed in his training gear, grabs his sports bag, drink bottle, post-practice snack, and his shoes.

“Happy birthday Miya,” Sakusa’s voice startles him in the kitchen when he reaches for the keys hanging up on the hook near the door.

Sakusa looked confused as to why he got such a fright. 

“Thanks Omi-kun,” Atsumu replies hastily whilst not taking Sakusa's well wishes for granted. 

Every year they remember each other’s birthdays. It’s almost one _civil_ day out of the entire year for the two of them which mainly started with Atsumu interrogating Sakusa about when _his_ birthday is. Reluctantly, he told Atsumu just to shut him up. 

Hinata was the last one out of the apartment, after Atsumu tossed him the keys to lock up behind before they descended down the building of their apartment to the gym. 

As they get out onto the quiet street, Atsumu reminds himself that he needs to start wearing a scarf from now on. It’s getting colder and soon, it’ll probably start snowing in the coming months. 

Upon their arrival at the gym, Atsumu is bombarded by an assault of birthday wishes and hugs from some of his teammates and coaching staff. Atsumu is just thankful that he doesn’t have to wear the _‘birthday boy’_ shirt that Meian and Barnes forced him into last year. The embarrassment is still locked in his memory and also the MSBY Black Jackals official Instagram page from a year ago. 

They probably didn’t want to put Atsumu through anymore hell than he has to with what they're about to get into at practice. 

“Ah, it’s not every day you turn twenty five!” Thomas pats Atsumu firmly on the back, enough to make him splutter. 

“Um, I’m actually twenty three,” he coughs.

Thomas pulls a thinking face, “no, no, I’m pretty sure you’re twenty five. See you were twenty four _last year._ ” 

“Yeah that would've been the case _if I were actually turning twenty five this year_ so, I _think_ I know what age I am,” Atsumu asserts.

Coach Foster’s whistle cuts their conversation completely. _Hell time._

A couple of hours later, their legs are burning and heavy. Hinata spends an extra ten minutes to warm down on top of their group stretches they have at the end of practices. Since trialling for the team, Hinata realises how quick the season is going. 

So far the Jackals are sitting comfortably on top of the leaderboard, racking up their hard earned wins and only one loss to the DESEO Hornets last week. It was a bit of an upset to their winning streak and that sting of defeat has taught them well. It also served as a perfect reminder that even at the top, the Jackals aren't safe yet. 

Time seems to be slipping through Hinata’s fingers, he’s barely getting the chance to process how far he’s come. Nor does he register the nagging thought of post-season plans even though it’s a while away. Nobody would be thinking about the end of the season _this_ early on, but Hinata seems to have his reasons. 

He’s so deep in thought that he doesn’t even feel the towel Atsumu places on his shoulder for him. He takes a spot beside Hinata, ripping open one of his post training gels to replace all the electrolytes he just lost.

“You okay Shoyo-kun?” Atsumu says with the bright blue paste in his mouth. 

Hinata untangles himself from the seated spine stretch he had been holding for too long, “mhmm, just tired now.”

He takes the towel from his shoulder to wipe his face then drapes it over the top of his head. 

“Well, hopefully I’ll be home before our usual afternoon nap,” says Atsumu.

“Yeah we’ll be needing it today. Are you heading straight to Osamu-san’s?” 

"Nope. He finishes at lunch so I’ll head back home with you an’ Omi to get some stuff.”

“Alright then.”

Atsumu ruffles the towel on Hinata’s head, “so, what conniving plan have ya conjured fer tonight?”

Hinata smirks, “don’t you worry about it.”

From a distance, a few of the other Jackals were watching the interactions between Hinata and Atsumu unfold. 

“Man, I feel like I’m third wheeling if I go near them,” says Bokuto in a complicated stretch for his shoulders that Meian was assisting

Inunaki laughs, “imagine what poor Sakusa-kun has to deal with. He lives with them every day.”

Sakusa hears Inunaki's words while he's sulking on the bench from how exhausted he is. _That's half of_ _what he has to deal with, so if_ _only everyone else knew._ Sakusa has to listen to Atsumu go on about Hinata here and there while Hinata practically does the same thing too. Then there's the aspect of them being as close as a married couple, bickering like a married couple - they might as well just elope now. Sakusa's face strains some more. 

“Are we gonna talk about the fact that Hinata _smashed_ today’s session? I mean he always does _anyways_ but today he was _insane_ ,” Meian joins in on a different topic.

“Don’t get me started,” Inunaki recalls Hinata pipping him at the baseline during sprints. 

He thought he had that round in the bag when Hinata came up from behind out of nowhere. As expected from someone who has natural yet abnormal stamina and endurance. 

“That’s Hinata for you,” Bokuto says proudly. “He’s ridiculously good now that it’s actually kinda scary.”

After showering up at the gym and an end to their Tuesday morning practice, everyone gets the 'okay' to head home. When Hinata, Sakusa and Atsumu arrived back at their apartment, Hinata went out of his way to make the others pancakes while he still had time before Atsumu had to leave. It was a nice gesture to distract Atsumu from how much he hates this day. But, things are going pretty well so far. 

He narrowly escapes doing the dishes mainly because Sakusa lets him off the hook just this one time. He must’ve been feeling generous, or just wants to get rid of him. Atsumu thanks Hinata for breakfast and Sakusa for the dishes as he heads on the ten minute walk to his brothers. 

Osamu lives deep in Osaka’s hustle and bustle city. He scouted the location to couple with where he wanted to set up his shop, that way the commute is more convenient. Atsumu also has a key to get into his brother's apartment. He’s lucky Osamu hasn’t confiscated it, but he’s had no reason too. Atsumu isn’t that much of an idiot. 

“Geez, do ya know how to read a clock? Yer late,” Osamu rants at his twin when Atsumu happily lets himself in. He’s busy with a knife and chopping board in the kitchen.

“S’that how ya greet yer brother? Plus m’not _that_ late.” 

He narrows his eyes but quickly widens when he sees that Osamu is slicing and plating one of Atsumu’s favourite foods, fatty tuna. 

_“You...didn’t,”_ he exaggerates, mouth starting to water.

“Huh, where's yer shadow? Thought ya would’ve brought Hinata-kun since ya follow him around like a dog,” Osamu checks behind him. 

Atsumu shoots him a glare while he takes his jacket off and hangs it up, “I _would’ve_ gladly brought him with me _had_ I know that he was even invited in the first place.” 

“I never said that he _wasn’t_ invited,” Osamu shrugs.

“Yer confusin’ me right now,” Atsumu murmurs tiredly then stretches his arms wide out towards Osamu. “Anyways happy birthday little bro!”

Osamu scowls and rests the knife on the bench before sliding off his gloves. He can’t turn down his twin's _rare_ genuine gesture in the form of a hug.

“I’ll rip that stupid piercing out of yer stomach if ya say that again.” 

“Aw you wouldn’t do that to me! Let’s eat! I’m starvin’!”

This was the usual tradition for the Miya twins every year when their birthday rolls around. It mainly consists of Osamu doing all the hard work while Atsumu practically eats from his brother's hand.

Atsumu _can_ cook, but not as well as Osamu does and that’s always the excuse as to why he didn’t bring anything handmade. Osamu doesn’t entirely blame him though. If anything, he doesn’t want to taste the poison crafted by the hands of Miya Atsumu. 

Atsumu did, however, bring his brother's favorite puddings, so he took care of the sweet side of things while Osamu had no trouble dealing with the savoury. 

“Haven’t been able to sit down with ya fer a while,” Osamu says when they’re seated at the chabudai. The surface was scattered with bowls and plates of food. 

“Been busy,” Atsumu mumbles into his cup of barley tea before he drinks. 

“Yeah? What have ya been up to outside of games and trainin’?”

“Mainly jus’ hangin’ out with Shoyo-kun,” Atsumu shrugs. “Took him back home, showed him around a bit-

“Wait - _home_ , like _in_ _Hyogo?_ ” Osamu interrupts, setting down his own cup of tea to see if he heard right. 

“Well duh, where else would it be?” 

_“I know that, but why?_ When did you even go?” He asks. 

“Couple’a weeks ago now?” Atsumu thinks back. 

As Osamu stares at him, he’s positive that an alien has replaced his brother. Atsumu _never_ goes home other than the times Osamu has to force him which are coming up in a few months. _He can already hear the arguments._

“Home? _You_ went back home?” Osamu freezes, asking just in case he heard wrong. 

Atsumu picks up a rice ball, “yup.”

"And...what was that experience like fer ya?”

When Atsumu brings the onigiri away from his mouth and sets it down on his plate, Osamu knows he’s crossed a line. 

“Ask me again and see what happens,” Atsumu snaps. “You already know how I feel ‘bout it without having to ask.”

Osamu can't lie, he does feel bad about asking. This is one boundary that he doesn’t go near. However, every now and then, Osamu tests it to see if it’s broken. Clearly it’s still reinforced with Atsumu’s stubbornness and also his reasons - Osamu knows that more than anyone. 

There’s no getting through it the easy way either. He's tried to be sly about it and slip the topic in during a casual conversation but it’s not a lighthearted matter and it never works. It affected Atsumu so _badly_ because believe it or not, _he_ is more sensitive than his twin, even though he can act like a bit of a dick. 

Because of that, they’ve never had a proper conversation about it. Osamu _tries_ to initiate one and Atsumu shuts him down just as quickly as he’s asked.

“Did you get a text from Okaasan?” Osamu brings up another slightly sensitive topic but one that Atsumu independently voiced very clearly over the years. 

Atsumu sighs in annoyance, “yes. Did I ignore it? _Yes.”_

“Still not gonna talk to her huh?” He doesn’t take his eyes off him.

Even though Osamu knows he’s not going to get a proper answer, maybe his body language will tell. Yet his question alone is the final straw for Atsumu. 

_“Osamu,”_ he says, looking back at him, dead in the eye. “I’ll talk to her when _hell_ freezes over, stop askin’ me this stuff, yer gonna make my day worse.”

“An’ what baseless reason do you _think_ is makin’ yer day worse? I have to spend it with _you_ , can’t be any worse than mine,” he retorts not so backhandedly. 

Atsumu’s head flops onto the flat surface of the chabudai luckily missing his plate so the food doesn't go flying. His face is turned away from Osamu. He can’t even sit down and have a meal without a particular thought gnawing at his attention; when he realised his feelings for Hinata. If he’s not thinking about volleyball, thinking about Hinata will easily replace it and sometimes it does. Sometimes he doesn't have a choice _but_ to think about Hinata - things that he probably shouldn't in some instances. It's not like he has any control over it, Atsumu can't help who he's attracted to. 

“Who _ever_ has a good day on their birthday? I don’t think we ever had until we left high school.”

“Lie,” Osamu blurts out. “Our tenth birthday was the best.” 

Atsumu zaps around to face him, _“thas_ a lie! It was our _eighth_ birthday when we got new pairs of those volleyball shoes that we wanted at the time remember?” 

_“Ya mean the ones that you wanted,”_ Osamu huffs, sounding as if he hasn’t let up on that grudge. 

“Is that how ya _thank_ me fer makin’ us look fuckin’ cool?” 

Osamu wouldn’t obviously call them cool now, but for eight years old it might have been. They each had their second and first names printed on the sides of their shoes which at the time, wasn’t really a thing. After that, kids at their school started hopping on the bandwagon and from there, Atsumu swore they started that trend. 

“Whatever then, anyways why are ya actin’ like a big baby?” 

A small sigh seeps out of Atsumu’s mouth, “nothin’ worth talkin’ about.”

“Like I’m gonna buy into that shit. What’s goin’ on?”

He’s been meaning to confront his feelings for a few days now, _months_ at the most until he started to come to terms with them. Atsumu cannot deny the fact that he has some sort of romantic affection for Hinata. But he’s never been good with this kind of stuff and Osamu will be the first one to tell him that. 

Suddenly, a lightbulb flashes in Atsumu’s brain. If there’s one person who knows about having feelings for someone, _it’s Osamu._ He’s been in a stable relationship with Suna for _years,_ if anything, he _should_ know.

 _“Howdoyouasksomeoneout?”_ Atsumu mumbles all in one go.

“Huh?” 

_“How...doyouasksomeoneout?”_

_“How the fuck do_ I what? Yer speakin’ a different language here so I can’t-“

“How the fuck do you ask someone out!?” Atsumu blurts, head lifting back up again. 

_“Oh,”_ Osamu is a bit taken back. “I dunno, you jus’ ask I guess? Why’re ya askin’ me?”

He wasn’t entirely expecting to hear those words come out of his brothers mouth. Then again, he's always saying weird shit that he doesn't necessarily mean. This time around, he seems to be serious. 

That’s not the answer Atsumu was looking for, _“wha-_ you’ve got Suna! How’d you ask _him_ out?”

“Like I said, I asked an’ he said yes,” Osamu puts simply. 

“But you weren’t nervous or anythin’? You didn’t think about _‘what if he says no’?_ Or, _'what if he doesn't like me back?_ Those kinds of things?” Atsumu questions, trying to scrape some sort of depth here.

Osamu makes a thinking face, “not really. This is obviously about Hinata. _I fuckin’ knew that ya liked him!_ You wanna ask him out don’t ya?”

Atsumu’s head slumps back onto chabudai, “I’m fucked.”

“Ahh, so ya _really_ like him, I see.”

 _“Yes, Osamu, I like Hinata Shoyo - Shokun, he’s amazing, kind, warm, abs like a rock”_ he confesses. 

Half of the weight had lifted off his shoulders. It was one step to admit it to himself and also in the company of his brother, but _asking_ Hinata the question seems like a marathon away. 

Osamu’s eyebrows knit, “how the fuck do ya know what his abs are like? Actually, please don’t answer that. Anyways, jus’ ask him.”

Atsumu scoffs, “oh yeah, because it’s _that_ fuckin’ easy.”

“Do ya think it’s wise datin’ a teammate though?” Osamu asks a relevant question.

And suddenly, the lightbulb in his brain starts to fade out. 

A teammate. That’s right, Hinata and Atsumu are in the same team. The chances of a relationship ever working out while they’re playing professional volleyball could be next to none. 

For whatever reason, if something happened between them, Atsumu knew for absolute sure that their entire dynamic would change not just off court but possibly on as well. Atsumu knows himself well enough to foresee what he would be like if they _were_ dating and broke up. It's happened to him once before, who's to say that it won't happen again?

 _Hinata_ would be the one to have it more put together than Atsumu would by being able to separate his personal life from volleyball whereas Atsumu can’t sometimes. 

He knows that it’s not very professional of him, but he has his reasons. There are just certain things that follow him onto court. However, nine times out of ten does that ever crop up like that for him during games. Although, there was that one time…

“Does he like you back?” Osamu’s question snaps him out of his daze. 

_The lightbulb is shattered now._ It’s tiny shards of thin glass pierces the thought that Hinata _might_ like him. Maybe he was being too optimistic in thinking that he did. 

_“No,”_ he replies stubbornly, confidence chipping away as he speaks. “Fuck.”

“Are ya sure? Or are ya jus’ sayin’ that?”

“I dunno ‘Samu!” He whines this time. “I _think_ that he does because we're _so_ close and we've known each other for _so_ long, but then…”

“Then what? What’s the hassle?” 

“Then I think - no, _I know_ that m’not good enough fer him,” Atsumu continues. Suddenly, the tone of the conversation shifts. 

Osamu takes a breath, “what makes you think that?” 

_“You know why Osamu_ , ya don’t need to look _that_ far into my previous relationships to see why or _how_ fucked up things were,” Atsumu rolls his eyes.

“I already told you ‘Tsumu, those things weren’t _your_ fault, I thought we drilled that into yer head already?”

If it’s not Atsumu who’s the first person to recall his brother's previous partner, then it’s most definitely Osamu, followed by Suna. Just after they had left high school, things were still hazy with Atsumu’s future in volleyball. He was being scouted left right and center, then there were the joys of leaving high school and the excitement into the ‘what next’ for Atsumu. 

In the midst of that haziness, he met someone a little bit older than him and just as stubborn of a person as Atsumu was, if not more to the point where it was controlling. 

Osamu feared that if Atsumu didn’t get out of that relationship, it was going to screw with his chances of becoming a professional volleyball player. Not to mention it was already screwing with Atsumu’s brain. 

And they clashed a lot, fought, argued, both of them as greedy as the other. Even just standing on the outside of that situation, Osamu recalls seeing how toxic it was and the breakup was on a completely higher level. 

“Does Hinata know about it?” He asks curiously. 

Atsumu shakes his head, silent this time. _Guilt._

“Hmm, is it that maybe yer not ready to be in a relationship yet?” Osamu theorises.

“Maybe,” Atsumu shrugs, considering that idea. “But I like him _so_ much. I like bein’ near him, like touchin’ him - not _sexually_ , because we’re not like that, even though I think-“ 

“-okay, yup, I got that part,” Osamu quickly cuts him off before he hears something he doesn’t want to. 

“Point is, I jus’ feel good when I’m with him,” Atsumu continues. “We push each other to keep goin’ at practices, games - hell, he even takes me on walks after a match so I can fuckin’ calm down, then we talk a lot, hug an’ all that.”

Osamu thought those were some pretty strong words coming from someone like _Atsumu_. If he’s thinking along those lines about Hinata, then he’s changed. 

Before it used to be _‘I like this guy ‘coz he has a good dick’_ or, ‘ _I like this guy ‘coz he knows how to fuck.’_ Now it’s more about how he feels rather than what he desires, not blinded by lust. 

“Anyway, yer sayin’ that what’s stoppin’ ya from askin’ Hinata out is that ya think yer not good enough fer him?” 

“I don’t jus’ think that ‘Samu, I _know_ that m’not. In my head it’s like a given _._ Plus, I’m too stubborn an’ I get jealous easily.” 

“Hmm, well Hinata seems like the type of guy who would appreciate honesty rather than bein’ lied to _which_ just happens to be a speciality of yers,” Osamu advised.

“Not helpin’,” Atsumu grits. 

“Be up front with him, might help just askin’ him casually how _he_ feels too like after practice or the next time you guys hang out.”

Osamu can say this casually, like it was never a big deal for him in the first place when he asked Suna out. To Atsumu, it’s almost the scariest thing in the world; the fear of rejection, not being able to be near Hinata. He can only imagine what would happen if he went ahead and messed that all up. 

“M’sposed to be hangin’ out with him tonight,” Atsumu remembers.

Osamu hums, “right well, there ya go. If ya want you can ask him how he feels or tell him how _you_ feel, an’ see from there.”

His brother's advice is well needed but Atsumu’s confidence still has a kink in it that won’t straighten out.

This mere challenge of asking these questions to Hinata is scary. He _likes_ what they have going on, even if it’s not that much because at least it’s something. If Atsumu went ahead and jeopardised it, he’d hate himself. 

He knew one thing for sure though; if Hinata rejected Atsumu, he’d most likely let him down gently. To Atsumu, that might actually be worse than having him scream in his face saying _‘no!’_

Osamu shoves Atsumu by the arm to rattle him out of his thoughts, “oi, stop freakin’ out about it. If worse comes to worse, jus’ think things over about ya’self before ya do anythin’ stupid.” 

_Stop freaking out about it, okay. Easy._

It wasn’t that easy. On his way home, Atsumu tried not to think about the prospect of _asking_ Hinata out - asking him to be his boyfriend. At the same time, he tried to not think about what’s holding him back in the first place. He's been with people before, even though he didn't exactly tell Hinata this previously. This is different. This decision feels like it'll determine the rest of his life, which in hindsight will. 

He wants Hinata - wants him in his future, wants to be with him, look after him if he gets sick, all of that good stuff. He'd be the best boyfriend anyone Hinata could ever ask for. Yet his confidence is telling him otherwise. Telling him that he'd ruin Hinata, shut him out when thing become too much.

But he doesn't get it; how can he fall for someone so badly and expect to keep it all in if he doesn't say anything? How is he supposed to _not_ feel the things he does for Hinata when he sees him in his future? 

He doesn’t know what to do.

“The team is on a good path to winning at the moment,” Sakusa starts. 

It’s been a pretty tame afternoon not having Atsumu around. For Sakusa that is. In fact, his absence is proving to be abnormal now that he’s spending time with Hinata at the table eating mikan. 

This reminds Hinata of when he would eat them with his sister at their kotatsu back in Miyagi. Now it’s nice to enjoy the activity with his friend. 

People who know Sakusa would probably find it hard to believe that he gets along with someone. That someone being Hinata. It’s all because he respects Sakusa’s boundaries and never questions it. Whereas Atsumu, who he’s been living with for a while now, can be a bit invasive sometimes, but not like other people. 

“Right? We’re doing really well, but we’re only a few months into the season so we can’t get too complacent,” Hinata agrees, peeling another mikan.

Sakusa hums, “yes, and we can’t let personal relationships get in the way either.” 

Hinata's eyes lift up, tilting his head, “personal relationships?”

“I’m talking about you and Miya.” 

The air hitches in Hinata’s throat, eyes wide and bulging, “you think that...Atsumu-san and I...are-“

“-in a relationship? Are you not? You’d be lying to my face if you told me you weren’t,” Sakusa responds, deadpan as ever. 

Hinata can’t find the words, “but, A-Atsumu-san and I...well we _aren’t_ actually in a relationship.”

Sakusa was midway peeling the last piece of skin off the mikan when he paused, “you’re lying.”

“No, I swear I’m not!” Hinata exclaims. “Atsumu-san and I are just really good friends! There’s nothing more to it than that!”

As a firsthand witness to the dynamics of Atsumu and Hinata’s connection, Sakusa is having a lot of trouble believing him. There’s no way that they wouldn’t be in a relationship _if they’re that close to one another._

“You’re telling me that you and Miya _aren’t_ dating?” Sakusa asks to be sure. 

“He and I are _not_ dating,” Hinata makes that very clear with him.

Sakusa still doesn’t get it, “then why are you guys so close?” 

That question is something Hinata has thought about before but hasn’t put too much effort into it. He’s always wondered why he and Atsumu are like that. But he’s never been able to come up with an answer. He figured that it’s just how things are between him and Atsumu. 

Hinata is sullen, “to be honest I don’t really know. Atsumu-san and I haven’t stopped talking since we met so that’s probably the reason why. But it’s...like a platonic thing.”

Platonic doesn’t even come close to the word Sakusa was thinking when he was trying to predict Hinata’s answer. It looks more than platonic to him.

Something then strikes Hinata; if he were ever asked how he felt about Atsumu - in whatever way that may be, he wouldn’t be able to produce an answer. He doesn’t know _why_ he and Atsumu are close or why they need to be within arms reach of each other. 

In the alternative, if Atsumu were asked how he felt about _Hinata,_ his answer would be clear cut, no sugarcoating, no bullshit. 

The door to the apartment opens. 

“M’back,” Atsumu’s voice rings through. He sees two heads face in his direction. 

“Atsumu-san! Welcome back! How’s Osamu-san?” Hinata calls out to him, forgetting what he was even stuck in his own mind for. 

“My annoying clone? He’s fine,” Atsumu shucks off his jacket, taking it with him to collapse on the couch and throwing it over himself as a makeshift blanket. 

He can feel Sakusa’s glare even with his eyes closed. But he opens them again to see what Hinata and Sakusa are even doing. He just went straight for the couch, barely acknowledging them.

“What did you guys get up to?”

“Omi-san and I were just talking about volleyball.”

Atsumu chuckles, closing his eyes again, “course you were.” 

Sakusa catches onto Hinata’s semi lie. They weren’t _not_ talking about volleyball, but that wasn’t the main topic of conversation. Sakusa picks up that Hinata probably doesn’t want to mention that he thought they were together. 

He still finds it unbelievable. _Anyone_ would just about think they were dating in Sakusa’s mind. How can two people be so physically close to one another and not fall in love? That’s only because he didn’t know about Atsumu’s side of the story.

Before 2pm rolled around, Atsumu hadn’t moved from the couch and was already asleep. Their fitness session this morning is catching up to him. He doesn’t even feel Hinata slide himself into the space so that they’re top and tail. 

They’re both asleep for just over an hour when Atsumu’s eyes flutter open, peeking at the other end of his body to see Hinata already doing the same thing. Neither of them were very discreet about it.

“What are ya lookin’ at?” Atsumu tries not to grin.

Hinata hums and nuzzles into his folded arm he had propped under his head, “nothing.”

He’s also not trying to smile like an idiot, however the silence between Hinata and Atsumu makes them both laugh. 

Atsumu sits up, stretching for a bit then pulls Hinata by his ankles, sliding him down the couch before resting his body in between his legs. Atsumu is all muscle so he’s heavy but it’s comfortable as Hinata hooks his arms under Atsumu’s to lift him up further up. Almost like he wants his face closer to his. 

He sometimes forgets how strong Hinata is.

Atsumu’s head is turned to face the couch as he’s lying on his chest. The steady thump of Hinata’s heartbeat is loud in his ear but so are the words of his brother from earlier on. 

This is completely jumping the gun on Osamu’s advice. He’s supposed to ask about Hinata’s feelings or ask him out, not continue to get as physically close to him as Hinata wants. _Clearly it’s a lot._

He tries not to panic when the realisation of what he’s doing is setting in. Atsumu needs to think of something else.

“So are ya really not gonna tell me what’s goin’ on tonight?” 

“Nope, no details whatsoever. Just have to trust me.”

Atsumu pouts, “what do I need to wear?”

“You can wear anything you want,” Hinata answers, his hand subconsciously playing with the ends of Atsumu’s hair. “Although probably casual.” 

“What if I don’t wear anything instead?” Atsumu jokes.

Hinata lets out a laugh, “unfortunately you’d _want_ to wear clothes for this.”

Atsumu shoots a surprised look at Hinata who’s blushing like mad, “ _unfortunately_ huh? You’d rather see me without clothes on then?”

His embarrassment only magnifies, his hand flying up from Atsumu’s hair to hide the flush of pink, “I’m going to suffocate you with the cushion.”

Atsumu laughs into Hinata’s chest, saving him further embarrassment by not teasing him anymore. 

As the end of the day rolls around, Hinata and Atsumu get ready for this secretive event that was planned out. He has no idea what’s up Hinata’s sleeve. It could be a date - which was near the top of Atsumu’s wish list, the first being that he actually wants to date Hinata. 

Which reminds him, Atsumu needs to tell him at some point. He just has to find the right moment. At the same time, Atsumu can remember plenty of occasions where he had the chance to confess. If his self-doubt intrudes again, Atsumu knows he’s screwed. He shoves that potential situation out of his mind. 

“Omi-kun’s not back,” Atsumu noticed.

“Ah, Omi-san is still catching up over dinner with Komori-san. I’m not too sure when they’ll get back,” Hinata answers. 

Yes, how could Atsumu forget; Raijin are in Osaka, playing against the Rockets tomorrow afternoon. It’d be good to go down and watch the game instead of the replay. Osamu will already be going, Atsumu can predict that much. They’re probably going out for dinner too while Suna’s here. 

“That makes sense. Alright, still not gonna tell me are ya?” Atsumu asks once more before they both leave.

He takes a look over at Hinata who’s shoving his phone away into his back pocket. But Atsumu wasn’t even aware of that fact, he was just simply admiring Hinata, like he was in some sort of daze.

“Nope,” he smiles while Atsumu sticks out his bottom lip. Hinata pinches his cheek as he walks past to open the door. “Let’s go.”

Atsumu has no idea where they’re headed, but Hinata does of course. He’s trying to look out for signs of familiarity along the way - things that might be able to indicate the place they’re going. He knows the streets they’re on, he recognises the shops nearby, _maybe they’re going to the movies._ Either way, the anticipation is killing him.

They talk along the way while Atsumu tries to clock how long it’s been since they left the apartment. He guesses at least fifteen minutes, which is quite a bit of time to walk somewhere. 

It’s not until Hinata finally pauses at an intersection of four different streets. 

“Alright, do you trust me?” He asks. 

“Without question, why do you ask?” Atsumu says, _that’s an absolute given_. 

“I need you to close your eyes.”

 _Close my eyes,_ Atsumu thinks to himself. His brain is darting to all the possible places that Hinata could be taking him that required him to give up one of his senses. Not to mention they're in public. Anyone would be wondering what the hell this guy is doing wandering around with his eyes shut.

“You need me to close my eyes...right,” Atsumu tries to understand. “How the hell am I _not_ gonna end up on the road if I can’t-”

Hinata grabs his right hand, “I wasn’t going to let that happen. Come on, close them. I trust _you_ not to open them unless I say so, alright?” 

Atsumu nods then shuts his eyes. This is actually a lot scarier than expected and he also feels kind of stupid. _Anything for Hinata._

“Okay, we’re walking now,” he alerts him. 

Trying not to freak out, Atsumu is coming to terms with the fact that he’s holding hands _with Hinata._ Yet, it wasn’t just their hands clasped together. Their fingers were also interlocked, which Atsumu found a lot more intimate. It was like Hinata wanted to make absolute sure he didn't stray off and get hit by a car. He almost wants to test the theory of _'accidentally'_ letting go of his hand, just to see what Hinata's reaction would be. Then again, Atsumu isn't stupid. 

So many things were running through his mind right now that the simplicity of just having his eyes closed amplified those thoughts. He goes back to count the minutes spent walking again. 

Atsumu’s first assumption is that Hinata has planned a dinner to a restaurant. Except, there was the factor of their attire. If they were going somewhere fancy, neither of them would be dressed pretty casually. In that instance, Hinata would tell Atsumu about going to dinner because well, it’s not that much of a surprise-

“Watch your step,” Hinata says. 

Atsumu makes it over what feels like a couple of stairs before his ears start to deceive him. Suddenly, the hustle of the city has drowned out and almost sounds like they’ve gone inside a tunnel. Their footsteps become more prominent, like they’re walking on a different surface than concrete. 

Hinata was getting ready to give Atsumu the all clear to open his eyes again when a series of loud bangs from party poppers went off simultaneously, loud enough to make Atsumu jump in place and rip his hand unintentionally from Hinata's.

His eyes flash open and soon enough, he realises that he’s in his brother's shop. This isn't exactly what Atsumu had expected but things start to make sense now. Hinata had him close his eyes so they could turn around the block and head back the way they came. He would’ve known that Atsumu was familiar with the route to the shop. 

A surprise party didn’t even make the list of things he thought Hinata might have planned. Onigiri Miya was decked out with black and gold balloons, his team, food, drinks, the whole lot and Atsumu doesn’t know whether to laugh, cry, be embarrassed or sad that all his friends came together to celebrate his birthday. The mixture of emotions translated onto his face in which he just looked downright confused. 

“Lucky I wore clothes then didn’t I?” he leans down to mumble in Hinata’s ear. 

His ribs are greeted with the end of Hinata’s elbow as he tries not to laugh. 

“Did you do this?” Atsumu asks him. 

Hinata nods, _“and_ Suna-san as well.”

 _Of course._ His eyes scan the room to see Suna hugging his brother from behind, chin rested on his shoulder with a sly grin on his face. Before Atsumu gets the chance to say anything further, Meian is at his side, wrestling him into a party hat. That's when he realised that a few Raijin members were present too.

Komori was sitting down beside Sakusa who Atsumu was quite surprised to see he was there. Former Fukurōdani middle blocker and friend of Bokuto's, Washio Tatsuki was also there.

“Are you already drunk?” Atsumu shoots Meian a very concerned yet amused look. Meian shrugs. _He's definitely drunk._

 _“You’re_ about to be as well, here ya go,” Inumaki holds out a shot glass filled to the brim with something clear in it. _This can’t be good._

It’s been a while since Atsumu last drank. Considering that it _is_ his birthday, he’s allowed to make exceptions. He knows for sure that he isn't going to get wasted but that shot alone is almost enough to get him tipsy. It burned like hell and a few more will no doubt have him call it a night and be on his way home.

This is a lot for Atsumu to take in, but soon enough, he settles in with the rest. When he gets the chance to see his brother behind his work station, Atsumu punches him in the arm, narrowly missing the retaliation Osamu also has at hand when he tries to whack him with wash cloth for his bench.

 _“That’s_ fer knowin’ about this the whole time an’ not tellin’ me.”

“Ya idiot! Course I knew about it, it’s _my_ shop an’ don’t act like ya hate it. Hinata an’ Rin organised all of this fer us,” Osamu argues.

He _definitely_ can’t ignore that. To go out, buy the balloons, invite their friends, organise food and drinks. It makes everything that extra bit special knowing that Hinata played a part in this. 

“Still,” Atsumu glares, holding his statement firmly even though he has no base for an argument.

“Confessed to Hinata yet?” Osamu brings up. 

“No,” he spits.

“Then you need-“

“-I know what I need to do Osamu,” he interrupts.

 _“Hey, hey, hey!_ What are the Miyan’s arguing about now, hmm?” 

Bokuto had come along to join them, carrying two full shots with him. He places one each in front of them at the bench.

“Thanks Bokkun,” Atsumu holds the glass up to him.

“Yeah he’s gonna need it,” Osamu mutters under his breath before taking the shot as well. He shivers at the burn of the liquid. “I thought Akaashi-kun would be here?” 

Bokuto pouts, “nah, he’s a bit busy with work at the moment.” 

As Bokuto rambles, Atsumu seems to drift from the conversation. His eyes are drawn to Hinata across the way talking to Thomas, Barnes and Inunaki. He doesn't know what they're talking about, but hearing and seeing Hinata laugh, smile, talk and just being in his proximity has a whole new meaning. He’s so captivated with Hinata that Atsumu feels like it’s a drug, like he doesn’t know any better. His eyes have clouded over, almost like he was being put under a spell Hinata cast on him. 

From there on, nothing else really matters. Living a life consumed by a sport Atsumu loves and offers himself to doesn’t even come close to this feeling. 

It’s an astral, potential out of body experience when Atsumu realises that he’s _definitely_ in love with Hinata. He knows he has ‘feelings’ for him and is attracted to him but his head is clearer than before. Atsumu needs to tell him _now._

He makes his way across the shop and in between people to where Hinata is standing with his teammates. 

“Shoyo-kun,” Atsumu quietly says. “Can I talk to ya fer a second?”

Hinata nods, setting his water down. Thomas, Barnes and Inunaki eye them both sceptically. He hops up from the table and follows Atsumu out. He's trying to ignore the vicious pound of his heartbeat while he leads Hinata through the back door of the restaurant. The cold air drowning out the chatter and raucous is sobering, making the situation as real as possible. 

Hinata closes the door behind him, “what did you wa-“

Before he could finish, Atsumu squeezes his arms around Hinata’s body. It shouldn’t _really_ be that much of a shock since they do this all the time. But he can’t shake the thought that something about this hug feels different. 

“Ya didn’t hafta go out of yer way to do this fer ‘Samu an’ I, ya know? I would’ve loved to have jus’ spent the night with you or somethin’. Still, I’m grateful.” 

Hinata has no trouble returning his hug, “ _still,_ I wanted to do this for you.”

Atsumu’s heart has moved up to his throat. It’s just this throbbing beat pulsing waves of hot nervousness throughout his body. Atsumu needs to talk about this, otherwise he’ll explode, nor does he know when he’s going to get another chance.

Like Osamu said, Atsumu _could_ just bring it up casually when they’re somewhere else. Then again, there’s the nagging problem of the fact that Atsumu hasn’t figured _himself_ out yet. 

Despite people’s usual assumption that Atsumu is this extroverted and highly confident person, he’s almost the complete opposite when it comes to his love life. That scratch of confidence isn’t enough to drag him over the line to speak what he needs to. 

“So, you dragged me out here to thank me for all of this? You could’ve just said it inside you know?” 

Atsumu may have been a little bit dramatic, “I guess I could’ve.”

Hinata smiles, “then you took me out here for another reason I take it.”

_This is it, here goes nothing._

Atsumu sighs, “Shoyo-kun...I’ve been meanin’ to tell you about something that’s...been botherin’ - _no! Not bothering!_ It’s more like-”

A laugh escapes Hinata’s mouth while Atsumu is trying to get his words out, “I _think_ I know what you’re trying to say.” 

Atsumu freezes, looking him straight in the eye, "y-you do?"

_“MIYA ATSUMU!!!”_

The back door to the shop flies open, the handle banging against the brick wall. It was Bokuto who was on a mission. He scared the living daylights out of poor Hinata who was hanging onto Atsumu’s every word.

 _“Bokkun!”_ Atsumu lets a growl of frustration out, _his opportunity vanished into thin air just like that._ “Are you tryna cut our life expectancy short!?” 

Hinata snorts. This is the _worst_ timing - the _absolute worst of timings._

“Tsum Tsum, the hell are you guys doing out here! Mei-san brought a cake for you so we’re going to sing happy birthday!” Bokuto snatches Atsumu’s wrist and he’s gone from there.

Dragged back into the main dining area of Onigiri Miya where coincidentally now became the last place where he wants to be. But Hinata helped put this all on for him _and_ Osamu which he’s inexplicably grateful for. Nobody has done anything like this for him except for his family when they were young. 

“Where the fuck were you?” Osamu eyes him when Atsumu joins him in front of two interesting looking cakes on the table.

 _“None of ya fuckin’ business_ that’s where I was,” Atsumu hisses. 

“Now, now Miya’s! You’re going to make a wish soon!” Thomas calls out to them before their bickering gets any worse. 

Atsumu gets the chance to analyse the cakes before they’ll be gone in a few moments. 

In front of Osamu is an onigiri shaped one, which by its appearance, looks like it was decorated professionally. The white icing represented the rice with some detail to make it look as such. Followed by a dark green section at the base to demonstrate the seaweed. 

Suna most _definitely_ had someone organise this for Osamu.

On the other hand...Atsumu stood before a loopy, blonde looking jackal cake with its tongue out. Did Meian actually buy the cake or did he _attempt_ to make one? Either way, the icing was questionable. Most likely Meian piped it on or a five year old did - no, a five year old would have done a better job. Plus, the hypothetical child may or may not have jammed the candles into its eyes. 

Well, if Atsumu had to guess, he _obviously_ thought it was meant to replicate himself. 

He honestly couldn’t think of a better cake to have, this was top tier. That didn't diminish the fact that he was now starting to feel down. 

Off key and off time, Meian starts to drunkenly belt out the happy birthday song as everyone else starts to join in. 

Atsumu doesn’t believe in such superstitions like making a wish while blowing out the candles in the hopes that it’ll come true. Desperation has challenged him now. Missing the chance to tell Hinata what he needed to now poses the question of when the next opportunity will come around? Is there even going to be another chance? Atsumu hopes so. 

Now he’s reduced to superstition and thought _‘why not?’_

At the end of the song, Atsumu makes his wish and blows out his candles along with his brother before everyone breaks out into a series of claps and cheers. From that point on, their night gets hazy. 

The twins' birthday ended a little more wildly than anticipated because by the next morning, Atsumu woke up early _on the couch._ He vaguely remembers returning to the apartment, supported by Hinata and his brother, but that’s just about it. He recalls Sakusa throwing a fit about it and no doubt Atsumu was as uncooperative as ever. 

If he can’t remember what got him to that stage, then he knows he’s in for a wicked hangover which is already starting to creep on him. 

He sits up. The first thing he searches for is his phone which takes him more than long to realise that it’s in his pocket. 

“Fuck,” Atsumu squints when the blinding screen shines in his face. 

It’s just gone half past five in the morning. Being drunk and hungover does weird shit to your body clock, Atsumu would know from experience. He doesn’t even know how long he’s slept. For all he knows, it could be the next day. 

Since being an athlete now, cutting poisons such as alcohol straight out of his regime of being healthy is necessary. As a result of that, his body functions more efficiently than the average person. The short straw here is that Atsumu has been rendered to a lightweight since he barely drinks throughout the year. Since it was his birthday and had no upcoming games for the week, he was okay. 

To combat the early stages of his hangover, Atsumu stands up, wobbling slightly before heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. When he turns around, he sees light peeking through Hinata’s door. He sets the glass down. Why the hell is he up so early on an off day? 

Atsumu walks over and knocks lightly at his door, “Shoyo-kun, what are ya doin’?” 

“Oh, Atsumu-san, you’re up,” Hinata says in surprise as Atsumu walks in. “How are you feeling?”

He closes the door behind him, not wanting to wake up Sakusa. Before him was Hinata, knelt in front of his duffle bag folding and packing some clothes.

“Okay, what’s going on? Why are you packing?” Atsumu sort of feels like he’s in a dream. A headache is already starting to form.

“Oh, I’m actually heading to Miyagi just until Tuesday and then I’ll be back. I already informed Coach about it,” Hinata answers, keeping the details short. 

Atsumu stiffens a bit, “back to Miyagi? Is everythin’ okay?”

“Yeah no everything is fine! Just a small hiccup, nothing major,” Hinata assured him with a smile of his. 

His assurance isnt really _assuring_ for Atsumu. While Hinata is packing away, he's smiley but doesn't entirely seem very responsive either, like Atsumu isn’t even standing there.

“Shoyo-kun,” he says. “What happened?” 

“It’s _okay Atsumu-san_ , something popped up with my family - _nobody’s dead_ or sick or anything like that, so you don’t need to worry,” Hinata’s hand came to cup at the side of Atsumu’s face like _he’s_ the one who needs some consolation. 

“D-D you want me to come? Do you have everythin’ you need? What time are you leaving?” Atsumu swallows. 

Hinata grins, hand leaving his face to shut his bag, “it’s alright, I’m catching the 6am. But actually Atsumu-san, do you have a jersey I can borrow? All my team ones are still wet from being washed, I haven’t had the chance to put them in the dryer.”

 _Jersey? On it._ Atsumu is on his feet, back in his room retrieving two jersey’s that Hinata will have the unfortunate decision of choosing. 

“Pick yer poison; my old high school jersey or the pink Hello Kitty jersey that Suna bought for my birthday last year,” Atsumu holds them both up.

Suna is notorious for giving Atsumu the weirdest gifts in the past which ultimately, he seems to oddly like. The only gift he absolutely despises is the custom t-shirt Suna had made that read _‘the cool twin.’_

Come to find out, Suna had given a similar shirt to Osamu reading _‘the cooler twin.’_ Even though it wasn’t that trivial or to most would seem pointless, Suna just _knew_ that it would piss Atsumu off to an absolute T, and it did.

Hinata sputters, but not too loud, “I think your high school jersey will be fine. If I wore the Hello Kitty one, I’ll probably look younger than I already do. Plus I think it suits you more than it suits me.” 

Atsumu smiles, handing it down for him, “I reckon I do look good in pastel pink, might wear it more now that you said that.”

Hinata playfully whacks him with the jerseybefore slipping the material over his head. He closes up his bag, ready to head off. 

Osamu was right, he does follow Hinata around like a dog, even to the door. Atsumu is too selfish to even care right now. All he wants is to make sure Hinata is okay who might be putting on a brave face right now, Atsumu doesn't know. It's hard to tell with Hinata who's this bright, ever so warm human being. 

“You gonna be alright?” Atsumu asks him. “I can walk you to the sta-“

Hinata lets go of his bag, falling to the ground as his arms snake around Atsumu. It’s like a reassurance hug even though it doesn’t completely squash Atsumu’s worry for him. Nonetheless, he savours the embrace since he’s not going to get another one for the next two days. 

“I’ll be alright,” he replies. “Go back to bed. I’ll ring you when I get to Miyagi.”

“Okay then,” Atsumu nods into him. “See ya in a few days.” 

He places a lingering kiss on Hinata’s cheek and it’s not until he’s officially out of the apartment that Atsumu begins to _freak the hell out._

He retreats to his room, quietly sliding the door shut and collapsing onto his bed, wanting to yell into his pillow. In the next room, Sakusa would immediately think Atsumu is even more insane than he already assumes if he hears him scream at nearly six in the morning.

But Atsumu can’t help but freak out. He had no idea what just possessed him, what compelled him to kiss Hinata. And it was so stupid, doing something like that while Hinata is dealing with a minor family problem. 

He’s probably dealing with _a_ _lot_ of things right now that he hasn’t told Atsumu about, and he went ahead and did _that?_

Again, this was the _exact_ opposite of doing what his brother suggested. He completely skipped asking how Hinata feels or asking him point blank if he wants to go out with him and just went straight ahead and kissed him. Even though he didn’t kiss him on the lips, Atsumu knows that it almost has that same intimate effect. 

_But, Hinata's kissed him on the face too. Multiple_ times _._

Now he’s _really_ confused. Selfishness and shock quickly turns to guilt. Atsumu doesn’t know where to begin on what he’s going to say or _if_ he should say anything at all. Sweeping it under the rug seems best for now until Hinata gets back. He turns his head to the side, gazing out through his window at the sun beginning to creep through. He sighs, conflicting feelings wrapping its way around his mind. What the hell is he going to do?

Atsumu isn’t much of a pessimist, but he can feel his chances slipping through his grasp. 


End file.
